2020 was one of the most chaotic years in modern history. Let’s be honest, the chaos was like that of the height of Beatles hysteria, literally, no one knew what the fuck was going on, everyone was screaming, and the streets were flooded with people crying. 2020 was a dumpster fire behind an abandoned blockbuster where jobless, traveling, hustlin’, childless, and asset-less millennials have been squatting, and subsequently quarantining together.
As if the world wasn’t weird enough, now we were all stuck inside. And we had to be stuck inside with the same people for quite a long fucking time. As best said with help from acclaimed television series, MTV’s The Real World, This is what happens when Americans stop being nice and start baking bread and while making tic-toks together. Yes, everyone in the world went through their own version of the first covid-19 wave, but in this country, we can’t stand each other. This was going to be a wild ride.
So a nation full of lonely horny bored people has had to figure out how to not do anything alone together. So much sense! Alas, #quarantinebae #lockdownlove #covidbae, and now #covidkid, are hashtags that are going to shape the nation. Mark my words, this is the baby boom of recent times. We don’t know how the fuck we’re gonna take care of these little nuggets but I mean, we were all bored and drunk sheltering in place with our beau’s and drunk off of that stimulus money. It was really inevitable.
Last week there were a suspicious number of fresh tiny humans on my timeline. I counted nine months back, and what do ya’ know! All of these babies were conceived in March, the beginning of all of the lockdowns, shutdowns, and quarantines. Y’all, this is the new surge and terrifyingly, it’s only the beginning. Brace yourself for lame-ass gender reveals a barrage of ultrasound pics, and investing in some kind of baby stock.